I often meet with clients who are delighted to discuss their Wills and Lasting Powers of Attorney over a nice cup of coffee.
Recently, it transpired that a husband had refused to inform his wife of his funeral wishes, forever.
In the context of a relaxed meeting chatting through ideas relating to their Wills, he opened up and explained what he wants and why. It made perfect sense.
Although he had never felt able or willing to talk through his thought process, leaving his wife feeling unsupported (she’d rather know what he wants, so she can follow it), when he opened up, she clearly felt loved and supported beyond measure.
Turns out that in wanting to honour a parent who had died some years previously, this had created what the husband felt was a burden. There was a gravestone which needed to be tended to regularly. This affected the family’s ability to move any distance away. The responsibility of doing the right thing, really well and with pride, limited the surviving family and younger generation.
Husband explained that he did not want to limit his family after he had passed, and accordingly, wanted a cremation with scattering of ashes in a place the family would naturally want to go to and have fun, remembering special times as they did, but with no structure or need for ongoing maintenance.
I was moved by the thoughtfulness which had caused this man to close down to his family on this issue, but with the right environment and prompting, enabled him to explain what he wanted and why, bringing them closer as a family now, and making things far clearer when the time comes.
If you need to have what you anticipate will be an awkward conversation, and you think us being part of it, will help, contact Jane of JC Independent Wills & Probate at Jane@jcwillsandprobate.co.uk or on 01727 840 240.