Last week I had a meeting with a beautiful lady, who educated me, as we sat chatting for an hour or so after she’d signed her Will and Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPAs).
She had told me that all women in her LPAs were to be referred to as “Ms” instead of Miss or Mrs, and they would appreciate why, because they know her and love her. I thought this was slightly bizarre when drafting the documents, as I always thought it was for the attorney to decide on their own salutation, rather than the donor.
However, after our educating chat, I can see her point. A gentleman is never declaring his marital status by confirming “Mr” as there’s just the one option, for a man who has not trained to be a doctor, or has other salutations applied because of family background or another reason.
A woman however, is declaring at the point of “Miss” or “Mrs” whether she’s married or not, and my client told me that this is simply not equal.
She also told me that being gay, means that she is constantly preparing herself for how people might react, when she refers to her partner as another woman. I had genuinely never thought about this being a big issue before, but she’s convinced me that I ought to be more mindful.
I confessed that when speaking with Indian gents, I happily ask “and what is the name of your good lady?” My client didn’t quite gasp, but she said this is just exacerbating the problem for her, because it encourages the kind of mentality where people do not feel confident about declaring their situation, if it’s very different from mine.
I’m actually still processing my thoughts from our meeting, but I do know my mind has been widened, and that feels good. I don’t think I’m about to overhaul my entire language, but I will be conscious about the words I use, and hopefully, I’ll be more sensitive to what impact this can have on my dear clients, who allow me to do what I do.
If you have circumstances which you feel are different from the norm (whatever that is!), then please connect with a specialist professional who makes you feel comfortable. Most of us are sensitive to client needs, but if you find we’re not, then persevere until you find someone who understands what you need them to.
If JC Independent Wills & Probate may be able to help, please call us on 01727 840 240.