Sometimes I meet a couple who are putting off their Wills, because they believe they’ll never agree on who to appoint as guardians in their Wills.
Guardians are appointed in your Wills, in case both parents die, leaving children under 18 years, to bring up your children.
Many couples feel it’s just too difficult to deal with. Husband says there’s no way we can appoint his wife’s sister, and she doesn’t hold back from declaring “over my dead body” when he suggests his brother.
The confrontation they’ve experienced at home, discussing it, is enough to put some couples off ever dealing with their Wills. And so they bury their heads in the sand, like ostriches.
The fact is, a specialist professional has seen this sort of discussion again and again.
It’s our job to ask probing questions, get the truth of the matter out, and suggest what might in fact, make sense. Sometimes, when you talk through with someone who is not connected to the family, what the options are in terms of appointing one couple, with a back up couple in place, or a combination of people, with a clear Letter of Wishes, dealing with who you wish to be the lead decision maker, then it all becomes manageable, and decisions can be made.
Sometimes your private Letter of Wishes, which is stored with your Will, deals with whether children should be moved geographically, if one or more guardian lives overseas. If a Letter of Wishes adds clarity, it’s a valuable thing to prepare.
We always hope that the appointment of guardians in your Will is the one clause that will never become relevant, but if it does, it’s one of the most important considerations you will have made.
Your financial assets are important, but your children are priceless. Do yourself a favour, and if this part of your Will is putting you off dealing with the whole thing, pick up the phone to a professional and have a chat about just this element of your Will. Find out if you can see that you’ll be able to work things out and make progress on your decision, with the right guidance.
Most true professionals will happily chat through this element of your Will in advance of setting up a formal meeting, if it’s going to help you and your family. You can chat through who you each have in mind as guardians, the pros and cons you both feel most strongly about, and what the practical solutions to consider, might be.
Good luck, and please comment below, if you had a tricky situation that was helped by chatting through with a professional, who really understood your situation.
Jane can be contacted at her office on 01727 840 240.